This blog is closed

This blog was just a joke for the Develer 2010 conference, by myself. Simone tells me that the great guys at Develer had fun reading it. Cheers to all, and see you at next Better Software conference.

Why do I check time every 2 seconds exactly?

You may wonder. Well, that’s my problem, man. I will spend about half of my life looking at the watch, and the rest checking my iPhone. Some white stuff with a fast trip in the toilets, and then the watch / iPhone cycle starts again.

Leave me alone. Peace.

Why all developers at Develer are male, big and tall?

Well. Did you try talking to these guys? Try like mentioning a recursive function: you’ll get blank stares – and then maybe a beating.

These are guys that tried Visual Basic – and found it too hard.

They are just my hit man – drug dealers and consumers. I got them trained by my Serbian advisors in Russia – killing journalists, there it is a sport. My friends of Draquila will soon introduce it in Italy too.

It’s all fake, dude!

Any suspicion about the only pretty girl of #bsw2010 actually winning my iPod “by chance” yesterday? Come’on. Wake up.

Any real leader needs fresh sexual slaves. Frequently.

The “Abominable Snowman”

Wikipedia (the only source I use for my immense knowledge):  ”The discovery that Homo floresiensis survived until so very recently, in geological terms, makes it more likely that stories of other mythical, human-like creatures such as Yetis are founded on grains of truth … Now, cryptozoology, the study of such fabulous creatures, can come in from the cold.”

Yes I confirm: I found Giovanni Bajo in a grotto in Tibet.

Pallanti’s girlfriend – oh dear me…

Beppa!

Following the continuous and disturbing requests frm Pallanti, here is a picture of his “girl”friend.

My blog hijacked

A certain “Pietro Polsinelli” had hijacked my blog posts. But don’t worry: the staff at Develer has already closed him in my Hummer, where he will be forced to get round only by car for the next 20 years. Ha!

In a few minutes the beasts at the conference will start the assault to food and drinks – and there my evil mind has the trap set.

A little LSD, a little mushrooms, and they will all be ready to sign the contract: working at Develer, at the usual ridiculously little pay, on projects that only I can make sense of.

I’m not evil!

Everybody at Better Software 2010 is starting to believe that I am an evil, crooked man. It is entirely false, and anyone who thinks that will be assigned to develop with Develer mobile tools – one of the most painful and boring experiences possible.

So fairies – keep quiet or I’ll get over you with my Hummer!

Damned bicycles

Here in the center of this old crappy town there are bicycles everywhere. I hate them.

My double engined hummer actually runs on software I developed myself. It rarely works, by hammering it it sometimes starts. Ah, we real men!

Pallanti disappeared

Where is Pallanti? The conference organization is sinking, the fairies are whining and whining, and Pallanti is nowhere to be found.
I find the beast, finally: he is chatting on the Phone, as always. That damned new Irish girlfriend…